One Child vs Two

When I tried to picture what parenting two babies under two years old would look like, I could only imagine utter chaos. I saw myself holding two screaming babies. Everyone, including me, was covered in tears. And poop. As a pregnant momma, I struggled to fathom having any further responsibilities in my life outside of my six month old. I felt I had finally reclaimed my body back after recently weaning. The “two under two” stories terrified me. For all of my worrying and all of my catastrophic thinking, I am still standing alive in front of this computer as a mother of an 19 month old and a 5 month old. Has it been smooth sailing every day? No. Have there been explosions from both sides from both babies? Yes. Has it been that way every day? Absolutely not.

I explain to clients on a regular basis that our brains, specifically anxious ones, will try to anticipate and prepare us for worst case scenarios. Even in the midst of a scenario, our brain can default to interpreting the situation as the most negative one possible. In reality, every moment in our day is not 100% impossible or a failure. Nor do the “failures” that we do have define the whole of our day. There are so many moments in a day that I have learned to count as “huge momma successes” such as my babies waking up at different times so I can give them individual attention, any meal where I’m able to feed all three of us at the same time, and any chore I’m able to complete such as folding my laundry with the babies present. When I did find myself cleaning up the dreaded explosions, I reminded myself “this moment will pass”. I would eventually find myself on the other side of it. Clean. With clean babies. And that moment did come. I would congratulate myself on conquering one of my biggest fears and my confidence grew.

If you’re a pregnant momma who is worried about the balance of an additional child to your family, take heart. Reassure your anxious mind that while you are grateful for its attempts to anticipate and plan, not everything imaginable will pass or be the reality of every moment in the day. You will have many positive moments and wins; and when the explosions happen, they will pass.

“Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. It rarely goes down as you imagine it will, and if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice”. – Michael J Fox