Adoption Means to Me…….

My previous ideas about adoption were very different from what I know now.

My nephews were adopted from Romania. Of course, our family all knew they were adopted.

My niece, now an adult, who looks very much like her adopted mother, still does not know she was adopted.

Neither family situation knew their birth mother or the love to share with the extended birth family.

I am proud to say that through the compassionate staff (whom we now call our friends) at Hopeful Beginnings this is NOT the case for us.

Our birth mother had to make the decision of whom to choose to raise her child. She had the opportunity to share ideas of what she wanted for her child, family values, similar interests, family backgrounds, even religious preferences. This process was facilitated with waiting family profile books and conversations with Hopeful Beginning’s responsive, empathetic staff members to help a new mother make a decision that would meet the needs of both the birth family and the adopted family.

Some of the big ideas that we learned from Hopeful Beginnings after placing the birth mother’s child with the adopted parents were that open adoption is not one size fits all.
Birth families and the adopted families create the new relationship into whatever they prefer it to look like.

Some of the beautiful take away for all of us are:

• Both families have ongoing relationships that grow along with the child. This involves honest, open communication and trust.
• The child has seen her birth mother every month since birth and has nurtured an affectionate and close relationship with her. The birth family is also welcomed into the new family for regular visits and celebrations.
• Social media has bolstered ongoing communication; regularly we get news of the child’s activities of the day!
• We all have a mutual love for the child and always focus on what is best for the child.

However, our love journey did not start out this way. It takes time. As my counselor at Hopeful Beginnings told me, “it is like building a tower of blocks, one block on top of another building the tall tower. The deep emotional support I received through Hopeful Beginnings taught me to be open-minded, flexible, and patient. Love grows!

Our relationships with Hopeful Beginning prevail because of the dedication to all of the families they serve.